Beijing Odyssey: A Hipster's Guide to the Far East's Coolest Capital
The Midnight Metalworker: Clark Clifford's Beijing Odyssey
So, if you can kind of follow—while the world slept, a different kind of revolution brewed in the shadow of the Forbidden City. Meet Clark Clifford, the pipefitting poet who fit up secrets by day and chased soundscapes by night, who now presents a Beijing hipsters guide for travelers.
The Embassy Blues
From '05 to '07, Clifford swung a wrench on the hush-hush U.S. embassy build—a concrete fortress rising like a spaceship in old Peking. By dawn, he’d thread pipes tighter than Miles Davis hitting a high C. But when the work whistle blew, this cat wasn’t clocking out.
3 AM Symphonies
Picture it: a four-star hotel room vibrating with muted arpeggios. While Beijing snored, Clifford, following the Pablo Casals example, strapped on headphones and dueled with Bach’s cello suites, his fingers dancing across strings like sparks from a welding torch. The night manager swore the walls hummed till sunrise.
Non-Fraternization Nation
State Department rules kept him lonelier than a saxophonist at a polka festival. No mingling with locals. No jam sessions in hutongs. Just steel beams by day, gut-string laments by night. They say the Great Wall heard his midnight rehearsals—and wept.
From Pipefitter to Psychobilly Before the embassy wrapped for the '08 Olympics, Clifford split like a jazzman dodging last call. But those Beijing nights stuck to his bones. Fifteen years later, he’d channel the clang of construction sites and whispered fugues into Potpourri of Sounds—a sonic gumbo where Ming Dynasty ghosts waltz with cutting torches.
The squares called it “government work.” We call it the birth cry of a madman’s symphony.
The Peking Scene: A Cultural Revolution
In the heart of the Orient, a city once known as Peking now pulses with the rhythm of a new age. Beijing, as it's called today, is a wild fusion of ancient wisdom and modern swagger. It's like watching the I Ching come to life on the streets, man.
Peking: Where the Ancient Dances with the Now
Dig: You step off that big bird in Peking - yeah, that's what the squares still call Beijing - and POW! It hits you like a Jian Wang cello solo. This ain't your daddy's China, baby.
You're standing on ground that was kicking it 2000 years before Columbus even thought about boats. But look up, and you'll see skyscrapers reaching for the stratosphere like they're trying to catch John Coltrane's "A Love Supreme" on the cosmic jukebox.
The Great Wall Meets the Great Leap Forward
Peking's got more flavors than one of those old Fillmore light shows. One minute you're tripping on incense in a temple older than Jesus, the next you're dodging bicycles and digging on cats with high-dollar cell phones. It's like someone took the I Ching and the Communist Manifesto, threw 'em in a blender, and hit puree.
From Forbidden City to Freaky Street
This town's got it all, man. You want history? Check out the Forbidden City, where emperors used to get their groove on. You want action? Hit the markets where you can score everything from jade to jazz cds. It's a non-stop carnival of the mind, body, and soul.
A Word to the Wise
Now, before you pack your bags and book that flight, cool your jets for a hot minute. Uncle Sam's got some heavy thoughts on traveling to the People's Republic. So be cool, check out what the State Department's laying down, and don't go all square on us by ignoring their advice.
Peking's waiting, cats. It's a trip that'll blow your mind, expand your consciousness, and maybe even teach you a thing or two about this crazy world we're all spinning on. So what are you waiting for? The revolution's happening, and it's got a Chinese accent.
Crash Pads for the Hip Cat in Peking
Listen up, you noble globetrotters! If you're planning to blow your mind in the Far East, dig this scene: The Chaoyang district is where it's at for the Western cat looking to lay his head. It's like finding an oasis of cool in a desert of the unfamiliar, comprende?
Two pads stand out like Coltrane at a Lawrence Welk concert:
- The Crowne Plaza Beijing Lidu Hotel
- Rosedale Hotel & Suites Beijing
These joints are so close to the action, you can practically hear the embassies buzzing. And get this - there's even a hospital nearby (Beijing United Family Hospital) that speaks your lingo. Because nothing kills your groove faster than trying to explain a bad case of the Peking blues to a doc who doesn't dig your jive.
The Curry Caper
Now, here's a tip straight from the underground: Pack some curry, baby. It's like carrying a little piece of home in your pocket, and it might just save your gut from going on a bad trip. When it comes to street eats, that curry could be the difference between riding the dragon and getting burned by it. Here is a good article, but don’t go wild on curry. Too much turmeric will ruin your kidneys.
The Smog Scene
I hate to bring you down, but the air in Peking can be a real drag sometimes. Some are still burning coal like it's going out of style, and the garbage incinerator is like a bad trip for your lungs. But get this - they've kicked the steel industry to the curb, and things are looking up. You'll still see the locals sporting masks like it's the latest fashion craze.
Here's the kicker: Despite all this, these Beijing folks are living to the ripe old age of 82.4 years. It's like they've found the fountain of youth in a sea of smog, man.
Beijing's Psychedelic Bazaar: A Trip Through the Far East's Grooviest Markets
If you can follow: Peking ain't just about Mao and his little red book anymore. It's a wild scene where East meets West in a mind-bending explosion of color, sound, and fabric. If you're hip to the trip, Peking's markets are where it's at.
The Fabric of Dreams
Picture this: You're standing in the Muxiyuan Fabric Market, surrounded by more colors than one of those computer-generated kaleidoscopes. Silks, wools, cottons - it's like touching the rainbow, man. And get this - the tailors in the Embassy District can turn that fabric into a custom suit faster than Marc Marquez can make it around the track on his Ducati.
Pearls of Wisdom
The Pearl Market's where it's at if you're looking to deck yourself out like a maharajah. Jade, pearls, the whole nine yards. It's like raiding Aladdin's cave, only with better haggling.
Strings and Things
For you cool cats who dig the six-string scene, Guitar Street is your Mecca. It's like Haight Street, only with more frets and fewer flowers in your hair. Pick up one of those crazy Chinese traditional instruments for your collection!
The Tea Trip
Tea Street's where you go to expand your mind - legally, that is. More varieties of tea than there are protest songs about Vietnam. Far out, man.
The Night Market Scene
When the sun goes down, Wangfujing Street Market lights up like a Christmas tree on mushrooms. Street food that'll blow your mind and luxury goods that'll empty your wallet. It's a trip, baby.
Other Must See Scenes
Silk Market (Xiushui Street): A tower of Babel built on threads smoother than a Billy Pierce sax solo. Floor after floor of silks that'll make your old lady swoon and your bank account cry.
Sunny Gold Street: A stone's throw from your crash pad, this golden alley's got more bling than Liberace's closet. Perfect for scoring some far-out jewelry to remember your Eastern odyssey.
Beijing Kite Market: Talk about high flying, baby! This joint's got more colors than you could believe. Kites that'll make you feel like you're touching the face of God – or at least getting closer to those smog clouds.
Ladies Street or Panjiayuan Antique Market: Wanna impress the squares back home? This is where you score the fancy china to serve your mind-expanding mushroom tea. And dig this – they'll ship it straight to your pad!
Haoyun Curtain Market: Curtains, man. But not just any curtains. We're talking fabric that'll turn your crash pad into a Moroccan opium den. Far out!
Beijing Glasses City: Specs here are cheaper than a dime bag and twice as groovy. But watch out – these cats might not know their prescriptions from a hole in the ground. Don't want to end up seeing double when you're already seeing trails, you dig?
Dongxing Flea Market: One man's trash is another man's treasure, baby. This place is a gold mine of weird and wonderful junk that'll blow your mind.
Yabao Lu Russian Market: Fur coats straight outta Siberia, man. But keep your eyes peeled – that lynx might've been someone's pet pooch in a past life. Heavy, huh?
The Shipping Scene
Now, here's the skinny: When it's time to split, don't stuff your suitcase like it's the last chopper out of Saigon. The cats at China Post will ship your loot home slower than molasses, but it beats having the Man hassle you at customs.
Food for Thought
For you hungry hipsters, Peking's got food streets that'll make your taste buds do the Watusi:
- Ashilan Street: Like walking into a Chinese lantern festival with a belly full of butterflies.
- Guijie Ghost Food Market: Spicier than a Santana guitar lick. Open all night for you night owls.
- Xinjiekou Snack Street: The real deal, man. No tourist traps here.
So there you have it, brothers and sisters. Peking's markets are a trip through the looking glass, a bazaar beyond your wildest dreams. It's East meets West, old school meets new cool, and it's all happening right now in the heart of Red China.
So pack your bags, grab your curry, and get ready to tune in to the wild, weird, and wonderful world of Peking. It's a trip unlike any other, and you don't want to miss it.
Peking's Mind-Blowing Trip Through Time
Now listen up: You ain't seen nothin' till you've grooved on Peking's far-out scene. This city's got more history than a Paul McCartney setlist, and it's all laid out for you to blow your mind on.
The Forbidden City: Man, this joint's so big it makes Woodstock look like a backyard barbecue. We're talking the pad where emperors used to lay their heads, dig? It's a maze of ancient vibes that'll have you seeing dragons in the woodwork.
Tiananmen Square: Picture this - a concrete ocean where the masses gather to do their thing. It's like a human Be-In, only with more red flags and less tie-dye. The energy here is heavy, man, like you can feel the weight of history pressing down on your soul.
The Great Wall: Now this is a trip, baby. It's not just close, it's cosmic. Imagine a stone snake writhing across the landscape, built by cats who didn't have anything better to do than keep out the barbarians. It's a mind-bender, stretching as far as the eye can see.
Houhai Lake: This is where it all comes together, like a perfect jazz fusion. You've got your scenic views that'll make your eyeballs dance, nightlife that doesn't quit, and food that'll send your taste buds on a psychedelic journey. It's the perfect spot to come down from your historical high.
Peking After Dark: A Far-Out Trip Through the City's Cultural Scene
This city lights up like a dream, mixing old-school vibes with mind-blowing new sounds.
The Acrobat Scene
You think Mohini Dey can do tricks with a bass guitar? Wait till you see these cats fly through the air at Chaoyang Theatre. It's like watching human fireworks, man. And over at the Red Theatre, they're blending kung fu with motorcycle stunts. It's a trip that'll have your head spinning faster than a light show at The Sphere. At the Dongtu Theatre experience more intimate offerings of acrobatic displays with stunning tricks like plate spinning and silk rope hanging.
The Kung Fu Groove
Speaking of kung fu, the Red Theatre's got a show that'll knock your socks off. It's like Bruce Lee meets Fantasia, with monks doing moves that defy gravity. And if you're looking for something more intimate, swing by Laoshe Teahouse. They've got kung fu demos that'll completely freak you out while you sip on some traditional tea.
Peking's Classical Gas: A Symphony of East Meets West
The Egg
First stop on our trip is The Egg, man. That's what the hip cats call the National Centre for the Performing Arts. It's like someone dropped a spaceship in the middle of Peking, and filled it with violins and tubas. The NCPA Orchestra is laying down tracks that'll take you to another place - mixing up Western classics with Chinese jams that'll make you dizzy.
Beijing's Symphony
Now, if you're looking for the real deal, check out the Beijing Symphony Orchestra. These cats are swinging at joints like the Beijing Concert Hall and Zhongshan Music Hall. They're not just playing the oldies - they're bringing in soloists and conductors from all over the globe. It's like a United Nations of sound, baby.
The National Groove
Last but not least, we've got the China National Symphony Orchestra. These guys are the cream of the crop, the top of the heap. They're mixing it up at The Egg and other fancy digs, playing everything from Bach to stuff that was written yesterday. It's like a musical time machine, man.
So there you have it, brothers and sisters. Peking's classical scene is alive and kicking, mixing the old with the new, East with West. With the Central Conservatory of Music close by, it's a trip that'll expand your mind and blow your soul. Can you feel me?
The Old School Cool
For you cats who dig the traditional scene, check out the Liyuan Theater. They're doing Peking Opera that'll transport you back in time faster than H.G. Wells' time machine. And Prince Gong's Mansion Opera House? It's like stepping into a Chinese version of Versailles, only with better tunes.
Peking After Dark: A Far-Out Guide to the City's Groovy Scene
Listen up, cats and kittens! If you're planning to blow your mind in the Far East, you've got to dig the nightlife in Peking. It's a wild scene where ancient vibes meet modern kicks, and it's all happening right now.
Score Your Tickets, Man
First things first: Don't be a square and wait till the last minute. Shows at joints like the Chaoyang Theatre and Red Theatre are hotter than a Taylor Swift concert. Get your tickets early, or you'll be left out in the cold like yesterday's news.
Be Hip, Be Early
Now, here's the skinny: These Peking cats know how to set the mood. Show up early and you might catch some far-out pre-show action. It's like getting a free trip before the main event even starts.
Double Your Pleasure
Want to really blow your mind? After the show, take a stroll through Tiananmen Square or cruise by Houhai Lake. It's like walking through a cosmic dream, man. The lights, the people, the energy - it's all too much!
From acrobats that'll make your head spin to classical music that'll touch your soul, Peking's got it all. It's a trip that'll expand your consciousness and open your third eye. And get this - help is cheap in this town. Grab yourself a guide and let them turn you on to all the groovy sights and sounds.
Peking's Jazz Scene: A Far-Out Trip Through the Orient's Coolest Clubs
Dig this, cats and kittens: Peking ain't all square. The city's got a jazz scene that'll blow your mind faster than anything. So grab your shades and let's take a trip through the grooviest joints in the Far East.
Blue Note Beijing
First stop is the Blue Note, baby. It's like someone took a slice of New York cool and dropped it smack in the middle of Red China. The cats here are laying down sounds that'll calm your nerves and make your toes tap. It's not just a club, it's a whole new dimension, man.
East Shore Live Jazz Cafe
Now, if you're looking for something with a little more local flavor, swing by the East Shore. This joint's run by a cat named Liu Yuan, who blows a mean sax. The view's out of sight, with the lake stretching out like a giant mirror. It's the perfect spot to get your zen on while the band takes you higher.
Dawn to Dusk Club
For you night owls, the Dawn to Dusk Club is where it's at. This underground scene is so cool, it's subzero. The vibe is loose, the crowd is hip, and the music is far out. It's like being in on a secret that the squares don't know about.
Modernista
Modernista's like stepping into a time machine, daddy-o. One minute you're in Communist China, the next you're sipping cocktails in a 1920s speakeasy. The music here is as eclectic as Charlie Mingus's old record collection, with jazz rubbing shoulders with sounds from all over the globe.
JZ Club
Now, if you've got some bread to spread, the JZ Club is where the elite meet to eat and greet. This place is so slick, it makes sharkskin suits look dull. The wine flows like the Mississippi, the food's fit for an emperor, and the music? Man, it's out of this world.
Parlor
Last but not least, we've got the Parlor. This joint's so hidden, you need a map and a secret handshake to find it. But once you're in, baby, you're in. The lights are low, the music's smooth, and the drinks are strong enough to make you see double.
Beijing’s Year-Round Parade: A Year of Far-Out Festivities
Picture this: streets packed tighter than a New Years’ crowd in downtown Las Vegas, with hip cats and square bears rubbing shoulders for miles. It's a trip, baby, and you better believe it's happening right now in the heart of Red China.
So strap on your love beads and get ready for a wild ride through Peking's most mind-bending celebrations:
Peking's Winter Rhapsody: A Trip Through Ancient Revelries
Dig this, cats—when winter hits Peking, the whole city flips its lid in a wild celebration that makes Mardi Gras look like a church social. The air crackles with firecrackers, the streets throb with dragon dances, and the vibe? Man, it’s like the whole planet decided to throw a party in Red China.
The New Year Freak-Out
January/February ain’t just cold winds and gray skies here. Peking explodes in a fireworks frenzy that’d make Jimi Hendrix blush. Temple fairs pop up like mushrooms after rain, packed with cats selling trinkets, grannies burning incense, and kids hopped up on sugar-dusted sweets.
Family gatherings? More like tribal reunions spanning generations. Businesses shut down for weeks—not because they’re square, but ’cause even the Commie bureaucrats know you can’t fight the cosmic pull of lunar new beginnings.
Winter’s Frosty Spectacle
Bird’s Nest Ice Carnival (Jan-Feb)
The National Stadium—that funky nest from the ‘08 Olympics—transforms into a Disney-on-ice wonderland. Mickey Mouse skates alongside ice sculptors carving dragons that’d make Walt himself weep. It’s capitalist kitsch meets communist spectacle, and baby, it works.
From dragon boats that’d make Aquaman jealous to jazz that’d resurrect Coltrane, Peking’s festivals are a 24/7 happening. It’s not just culture—it’s a full-body contact sport with history. The revolution isn’t just televised here… it’s lived.
Lantern Liberation
Come February or March, Peking ascends to another dimension. Hundreds of glowing paper moons take flight, carrying prayers to the heavens like flowery UFOs. Float parades snake through hutongs, trailing silk dragons and opera singers hitting notes so high they’d shatter wine glasses.
And the snacks? Sticky rice balls sweeter than an Infinity Song harmony. It’s the grand finale of New Year madness—a kaleidoscopic meltdown where tradition meets pure, unadulterated joy.
Qingming: Spring Soul-Searching with Ancestors
April 5th rolls in like a Zen master’s whisper. Families trek to gravesites, scrubbing tombstones and leaving offerings of joss paper and fruit like they’re stocking a celestial pantry. But dig this—it’s not all somber vibes.
After the rituals, everyone spreads picnic blankets under cherry blossoms, cracking open thermoses of tea and laughing like they’ve unlocked the secret to eternal life. Tomb-Sweeping Day? More like Life-Affirming Day, man.
Dragon Boat Boogie (Late May/June)
Picture this: 2,000-year-old war canoes shaped like fire-breathing dragons, slicing through water faster than Brazilian drummer Pascoal Meirelles. These cats at Golden Sail Water Sports Club aren’t just paddling—they’re channeling the ghosts of emperors past. The drumbeats hit harder than a Keith Moon solo, and the crowds? They’re screaming louder than groupies at a Stones show.
Rose Revolution (May 30 - June 20)
Peking’s streets explode in petals during the Rose Cultural Festival. The Botanical Garden becomes a love-in, while the Temple of Heaven gets decked out like it’s preparing for a flower-powered revolution. It’s Woodstock meets the Ming Dynasty, man—peace, love, and enough roses to bury the Pentagon.
Peking’s winter and spring festivals ain’t just parties—they’re a metaphysical time warp. One minute you’re dodging firecrackers in a dragon’s shadow, the next you’re floating lanterns with monks who’ve seen dynasties rise and fall. It’s the ultimate trip, baby, and the best part? You don’t need acid to feel the magic.
Dig this, cats—when summer hits Peking, the city doesn’t just sweat, it swings. And when autumn rolls in? Man, it’s like the whole place drops acid and starts painting the town in hues even Dickie Peterson couldn’t name. Buckle up for a trip through Peking’s wildest seasonal happenings.
Autumn’s Electric Slide
Beijing Jazz Festival (September)
When the air turns crisp, Peking’s jazz cats come out swinging. This ain’t your daddy’s big band—it’s a sonic collision where East meets West. Imagine Mingus jamming with monks who play bamboo flutes. The autumn air hums with improvisation, and the vibe? Cooler than Miles Davis in a snowstorm.
Mid-Autumn Moon Madness (Late Sept/Oct)
The second biggest holiday in China is all about lunar communion. Families pass mooncakes while lanterns float skyward like paper UFOs. At Marco Polo Bridge, it’s a cosmic picnic—part religious ritual, part interstellar rave.
Red Leaf Rhapsody (Oct-Nov)
Fragrant Hill becomes a living lava lamp as maples burn crimson and gold. Millions of tourists flock here, taking in nature’s light show. It’s like the trees themselves are artists, painting the landscape in colors more beautiful than a Gerhard Richter painting.
Peking's Underground Groove: A Transportation Rhapsody
I hope you can follow—getting around Peking ain’t just about moving, it’s a full-blown symphony of steel and sweat. This city’s got more rhythms than a Roy Vogt LP, and the subway? Man, it’s the bassline keeping the whole gig alive.
The Tube Scene
Peking’s subway is a marvel hotter—cleaner than a fresh pair of bell-bottoms and cooler than a jazz cat’s shades. When summer hits like a cymbal crash, those air-conditioned cars are your salvation, baby. They’ll whisk you from the Forbidden City to Guitar Street faster than you can say “Bitches Brew.”
Taxi Tango
Now, taxis here are cheaper than a dime bag of incense, but don’t get cocky. Traffic’s tighter than a sold-out Rolling Stones show. Here’s the skinny: Ride the subway ’til you’re spitting distance from your pad, then flag a cab. You’ll dodge gridlock like a spy slipping through Red Square.
Rickshaw Rumble
Want to get real old-school? Hop in a rickshaw—the original groove chariot. These pedal-pushing cats’ll thread through hutongs like a Las Vegas Limo Driver. It’s part transportation, part time machine, all magic.
Two-Wheeled Army
But the real scene? The bicycles, man. Peking’s streets swarm with ’em—a spinning, ringing, bell-clanging army on wheels. Join the fray and you’ll feel the city’s pulse right through your handlebars.
So there you have it, hipsters. Whether you’re riding rails like a subterranean duke or weaving traffic on two wheels, Peking’s transport game is a wild jam session. Just remember: Keep it cool, keep it moving, and let the city’s rhythm carry you. Can you dig it?
Peking: Where Centuries Collide in a Cosmic Jam
Are you catchin' on yet?—Peking ain’t just a city. It’s a time machine, a bazaar of the bizarre, and a symphony of silk and steel all rolled into one. Whether you’re chasing dragon shadows in the Forbidden City or haggling for pearls in a market that hums like a Kim Simmonds riff, this town’s got more layers than a Ming vase.
Threads of Time
Don’t sleep on the tailor scene, baby. Hit the Muxiyuan Fabric Market, where bolts of 150s thread count wool cascade like liquid gold, then cruise to the Embassy District and let those cats stitch you a suit sharper than a Laser Blade. Pro tip: Ship your loot home via China Post—slow as a Sunday sermon, but cheap and reliable.
Markets & Madness
From the Pearl Market’s jewel-box glow to Guitar Street’s six-string symphony, Peking’s bazaars are a trip through Wonderland. Haggle like a pro, then feast on street duck so crispy it’ll make your taste buds scream encore! Just keep that curry powder handy—your gut’ll thank you later.
Ancient Grooves, Modern Moves
Ride the subway—cleaner than a nun’s conscience and cooler than a polar bear’s toenails—to temples where incense swirls like psychedelic smoke. Then flip the script at Blue Note Beijing, where East-West jazz jams blow minds nightly.
The Final Chord
So pack your bags, kittens. Throw in some threadbare denim, a hunger for adventure, and that trusty curry stash. Peking’s waiting to blow your mind across 2,000 years of history—all in the time it takes to light a firecracker.
Can you dig it?
